Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
