I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
