My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
