I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
