Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize