I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
