Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
