So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
