At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I hope mine doesn't look like that
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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