lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
