bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
