I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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