I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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