It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
