i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She told me I should be a condom model.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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