Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
