flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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