Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
