Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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