I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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