It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
