Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
