you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
