when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
