so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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