once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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