I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize