I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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