There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
