why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
