It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
