Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
