I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
