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• (813): View more from Florida

  so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  well its been awhile since I've surfed

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• (713): View more from Texas

  you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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• (661): View more from California

  So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?

  (818): View more from California

  I hate you.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?

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• (949): View more from California

  Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

  (949): View more from California

  I felt like a god.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you

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• (805): View more from California

  I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.

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