Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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