i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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