There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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