The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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