I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
