Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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