I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
