every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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