bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize