i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
