plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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