I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
