I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
