dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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