Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
