I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
