that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
