tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
