Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
