i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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