I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize