4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In other news, I just burned my penis
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize