I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
