Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
