i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
