Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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