): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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