Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
im holly from the hills drunk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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