Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
