My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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