What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
