I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
