omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have post one night stand depression
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