CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
