I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
